I DID IT!!!!

I made my first goal...and passed it!!! I weighed in this morning at 142.4!!! My goal that I set on January 5th 2009 was to weigh 145. Next goal: 130 : )

Black Dress

I was in need of a dress for many things this coming holiday season. Many performances, and of course, Christmas! So I went shopping. Very pleased with the results. And its a size 8!!!

How utterly vain of me...

Like I usually do at 7 in the morning, I got dressed to go running. This morning, being that it was 60 degrees outside (in November...topic for another time) I wore cloth shorts/t-shirt. I haven't worn this combo since late summer...and usually I wear a really baggy shirt. I accidentally grabbed the "small" t-shirt that I own. I was prepared for the worst. I had gone into the bathroom where the big mirror is and just took a glance at myself. Seriously?? Then I had this thought--if only my old marching band would see this. During practices, we obviously had to wear shorts and t-shirts otherwise you'd completely pass out on the field. I was never comfortable with myself during practice...especially when I was on the podium. My thought this morning was, I wish I could experience a practice looking like THIS! Is it so vain of me to think that I want others to look at me now and think, wow, she looks good? Of course, I'm happy for myself. But the thought of having all of those people who saw me at my worst, constantly, to see me now...

YAY!!!

For the first time in awhile I was home and was able to get an accurate weight.....

drum roll......

146.2!!!!!!!!!!

62 lbs lost!!!!!!

Who's body is this....

Seriously. It can't be mine. There are days when I am absolutely astounded that this is me, that I actually did it! It is only when I consciously address my "new body" that I realize that it is different. If I don't consciously think about it, I assume that I am much wider/thicker than I really am.

Interesting experience. I was in conducting today, in the class conducting a piece. Our instructor had to get me to open up my embrace more and to use my arms differently. It felt so awkward. I was conducting the same way that I had while conducting marching band 3 years ago. Of course, 3 years ago, there was about 50 extra pounds of me! After class, I asked him if the reason I am having trouble is the weight loss. He looked at me and said, "Absolutely!" He says that I am still in the process of re-doing my "body map", understanding how I move in this new frame. He said that after changing your body, your mind doesn't get accustomed to it for awhile. Essentially, I've had the same body proportions for so long, that my brain hasn't let go of that sensation. Such strange concepts!!

New Challenge!

I've been in standstill for awhile--so I needed a new challenge!

I'm doing this with my wonderful roommate. Essentially, we have to go 7 days of "clean" eating. That means different things to each of us and it can change daily depending on if I exercise or not. We each have rewards that we can give ourselves if we do 7 days in a row. However, if one of us trips up, we BOTH have to start all over with a new 7 days. This way, we are dependent on each other to get the rewards. Day 4: so far so good! First reward: $10 at the record exchange. Yay!

When I go home...

my healthy habits go away!!! I do not know why!!!!! I suddenly find it necessary to snack on ice cream 24/7, have chocolate chips, not measure the fatty steak, eat toasted marshmallows, and cookies! And then, the bad habits continue for a day back at school to the tune of 2 bowls of ice cream from the commons (with mini chocolate chips and chocolate syrup on top) and eating a whole pizza from the pub (relatively smaller than a normal pizza but still!). ARGH!!!!

All I can do at this point is just stop it cold turkey. And return to my healthful bliss. Besides, I feel crappy and I know that it is from the crappy food.

But it was yummy : )

Why do I have this issue? You'd think since it makes me feel gross and sluggish that I would not want to eat it?? WRONG.

I think this is a good lesson in making this a life change as opposed to a one year goal. Inevitably, there are going to be weekends like this. The trick is to not make those weekend habits become my whole life. Also, I cannot do this every weekend. I have to find some way when I am home to combat the desire to go back to the old ways.

New "before" picture

This is about as close to "before" as you can get. This was taken Christmas Day 2008, I began January 5th 2009.

Wow.



Five seconds ago.

Staying Positive

I know that I have lost weight. I know that I am healthier. And yet there are times when I look in the mirror and wonder why I look so big, or so lumpy, or so tired, or my hair isn't right, and my face is too red. It seems that this will never change. So I must change how I view myself. This is one realization that I have had recently.

Also, I need to stop this random eating the whole world every few days. I will be marvelous and have wonderful self control for a few days, and then I end up downing a whole bag of Teddy Grahams. Those cute little bears are dangerous!! I know that my little "binges" really aren't that bad. Overall, I am still on track. But I could be so much better on track! For instance, today was an AWESOME day. I ran TWICE. I ran for 30 minutes in the morning, and 15 minutes in the afternoon. And I also did a Pilates Ab Workout. This was a) trying to work off those cute little devilish bears from last night and b) to allow me to have tortellini for dinner! Also c) to just give myself a big push back on track.

Right now, at this moment I am thankful for what I have been given. I am thankful for the last 9 months of getting healthy......wow. Moment please. NINE months. Wow. I am healthier and much better off. And I do see myself as a better person because I can be better for others.

Now, off to finish playing Scrabble with my wonderfully wacky Momma. And then 6:45 am running!

SUCCESS!!

I RAN A FULL 5k THIS MORNING!!!!

Granted, it took me about 40 minutes, but I did it!!!

ouch.

ran this morning. second day in a row. 28 minutes straight.
fast forward to this evening.
pilates ab workout.
tired.
bed.
now.

Mexican food last night....running this morning!

Last night I had one of my "just enjoy it" nights. There was a bunch of wonderful mexican food in the lounge...and I decided to indulge : ) Not to worry though. I went running this morning! 28 minutes non-stop. Then later today I am going to do an ab workout. I'm making sure that the food doesn't get the best of me!

Haven't lost it!

Haven't lost my ability to run that is! This morning I decided to tackle the 20 minute run from C25k. I haven't done that run segment in about 4 months. Needless to say, I was a little worried! Would I be able to do it? Would I be completely exhausted half way in?

Nope!

I was able to complete the whole run! Of course I was tired...who wouldn't be? But I could finish it and still stand up-right and not collapse. Even better, one of my best friends, Esther went running with me. I'm so used to going at it alone that I'd forgotten how much fun it can be to have a friend there. Yay for friends!!

New Jeans!

It has been a month or two of constantly pulling up my jeans. My belt didn't help...the belt itself wasn't small enough to do anything! I finally bit the bullet and bought some jeans. I went to a local consignment shop. I got 2 pairs, one for $18 (with the tags still on, and originally sold for $40!) and another for $10. One of the pairs of jeans is a size 10 and the other is size 12. Lots of happy smiles! So I have jeans now. I also went to Goodwill the other day and got a bunch of long sleeved shirts. The weather here is rapidly descending into fall weather and I got tired of wearing sloppy t-shirts all of the time! Love shopping for "new" clothes!

Back at school...back to everything

I admit it. I've been slacking. I've been making excuses and eating salt laden food. And because of that, I've been feeling very yucky lately.

Although I was terribly sick for a few days, I still didn't eat well. I had a bad cold. And I assumed that chocolate cake would help me feel better...topic for another time.

Now I am back to my real life. I am eating lean meats, smaller portions, and very little processed sugar. I did a Pilates DVD yesterday and I went running today!! I seem to always forget why I like to run now. I never thought that I would write this, but here is my list of why I love running:

1. I feel such an amazing sense of accomplishment after I'm finished!!
2. It burns so many calories in less amount of time.
3. It is an activity that I do for just ME. There are no grades, no practicing for it, no rehearsals or performances, it is just doing it.
4. The endorphins are absolutely worth it. The rest of the day is always very cheerful because I am in a great mood!
5. It is FREE : )

I thought I'd try something new for this semester. I did not bring a scale with me. I am not going to weigh myself like the freak that I was, every single day, sometimes twice a day. Nope- this time I am only going to when I go home on the weekends about 2x a month. Will I be able to hold out? Will I be dissapointed? Who knows.....

Was that really me?

You'd think that you could never forget what it feels like to be overweight, slightly obese. You'd think that you could never forget the trapped feeling, like you couldn't breathe due to the sheer size of you. But you can. And apparently I have. There are times when I look in the mirror and think that nothing has changed, and yet I have. There are times when I get dressed in the morning thinking, why did I bother doing this. But it has been a blessing. It is so hard to remember what you used to be like in order to appreciate the way you are. And then you see a picture like this...and remember.

Going along and then...

inevitably I get off track.
I was doing great today. Only ate 600 up until dinner, which was fine for me. Then I began to graze. I finished off what was left of my sister's fettuccine alfredo, scraped at some chocolate sitting in the fridge, grabbed some pizza goldfish (all this while waiting for my own dinner to cook). Then I ate my dinner (chinese chicken w/ broccoli). It was a decent amount, about 380 calories. Then after dinner I had 2 slices of lemon meringue pie just because. I wasn't hungry. Just wanted it. Then after already going to bed for the night, I went back downstairs and got 7 cookies and milk.

I HAVE A PROBLEM.

I was doing magnificent last week, I even hit a new low of 152.8!! Now I'm sure with the salt of everything and the junky-ness of everything, I'm back up to 155 for the time being.

In this spirit I am initiating a new challenge for myself- the August Stimulus Plan--stimulus for weight loss. lol.

I will not have a "grazing" session again.
I will allow 1 day a week where I am allowed to go up to 1800 calories--counted extravegance.
This week is limited to 1400. Next week's 1800 calories will most likely be limited to the picnic at church on Sunday.
If, and only if, I can maintain a controlled rest of this week and next am I allowed to have MEASURED goodies while on vacation. I will NOT eat whole pastries and I will limit myself to smaller ice cream portions. I WILL NOT graze.

I am tired of grazing. During, I tell myself its fine. Afterwards I feel disgusted. NO MORE. If I begin to, or feel like grazing, I will get out of the kitchen. Period. No more. I WILL NOT.

Welcome back to reality!

Wow its been a long time since I last updated this. I guess that's because I've been "hiding" from the truth. I completely let myself go. I told myself: if I maintain, then I don't care. I can eat what I want. Well, I did maintain. In fact, I actually lost .2 lbs IN 3 WEEKS! On the one hand- great. I've been able to eat all of this junk and still keep it 'kind of' under control. On the other hand, I've completely lost focus of my goals! At this rate, I'll NEVER lose these last 9 lbs! At least I have school to look forward to--I tend to eat less when I'm busy doing homework : )

I've officially busted that plateau to pieces!!!!

After nearly 2 months of not having any significant progress (or none at all), I've done it! The odd thing is, I haven't really done anything different! I am now 154.8 pounds!!!! The funny thing is, when I first stepped on the scale, it said 155.8, and I was shocked with that, so I stepped on the scale again! Then it said 154.8, and continued to say that for the subsequent 5 times I tested the scale! I have less than 10 lbs to go until my original goal of 145. I may choose to go lower at that point, possibly 130-135, but we'll see when I get there.

Hello Legs!

Wasn't feeling so hot today. Got the bloat thing going on. Also, I was ravenously hungry all day today. Still managed to keep to 1400 cals for the day, but it was not easy!!! Then tonight, I pull out these pj bottoms that are short shorts. Look in the mirror. I have LEGS. Like seriously defined, with muscles sticking out the sides of my thigh kind of legs. Yay!

Slooooooooooooow

The scale has refused to budge! I've only lost .6 lbs in 3 weeks. I did foresee this coming, it happens to everyone. Doesn't mean I have to like it! I admit I haven't run as often as I have, but I haven't stopped exercising. I still do the stationary bike and Pilates. When I do the bike, I burn waaaayyyy more calories than I do while running, so in that respect, its even more work! I just have to keep going and watching my calorie intake. Cookies on the kitchen counter will not get the best of me!!

Holy Stomach Batman!

Yesterday was my birthday dinner. I had asked for "Thanksgiving" so that's what I got: pineapple filling, potato stuffing, turkey, sweet potato's with the crumbly sugar topping, spinach salad, and jumbo biscuits. It was so delicious. Also, since there was so much, mom and I had made a lot of it on Saturday, so the food was around most of the weekend. This means that I ate it most of the weekend!

I ate so much. Yesterday, I ate more in one evening than I had since January. In addition to all of that food, I had birthday ice cream cake. And then later that night I had some more stuffing. My stomach HURT. It was more than just a normal queasy stomach ache, it was almost like stabbing pains. Not pleasant. I took some tums and just tried to stay as still as possible to let it feel better. It didn't really feel that much better when I went to bed and even this morning, I feel queasy, but its getting better. I think I've learned my lesson though!!!

Let's just say that calorie counting was not in my immediate concern this weekend.....I haven't weighed my self since then, and don't plan on it! Even if I go up four pounds or so, I don't think that's going to be a "real" gain. The food had a lot of salt in it, and I'm assuming that a lot of it is going to be water weight. So I'll reduce my calorie level for the majority of the week and fix that straight away. And lots of water!

Updates Galore!!!!!!

Well, I haven't updated in awhile, mostly because there hasn't been much to say!

I've been home now for 1.5 weeks. It feels like much longer. There's so much going on right now.

I haven't been running as religiously as before, I've gone at most 2x a week when I used to do 3. However, if I didn't run, I biked and since it is stationary, I'm able to track how many calories I burn. Some days I was burning 700 or so...not too shabby! I'm going running today (in about 1/2 an hour)--the weather is great for it!

The weight loss seems to have slowed for a bit there. Not really a plateau but really slow loss. I've heard that happens as you get closer to a healthy weight because you just burn less simply by living!

And the big news of the post......(drum roll please!!!)

I am now at 158.4 lbs and have lost 49.6 lbs total!! AND I am now at a BMI of 25.5 (healthy weight is 24.9) When I began this, my BMI was just over 33, considered OBESE. I will be at a healthy weight at 154 : )

Home again!

I am home!! I love being home, I love my family!

So far, so good! I am so thankful that my family are supportive of me doing this. Mommy and Daddy are making it so easy. They let me measure and count to my hearts content. Momma also got some of my "staples" from the store for me.

Running is still going well. I ran almost 3 miles yesterday in 28 minutes. Up hills, too! Of course the elevation made it harder, but I definitely worked! I think it will just further my endurance.

According to my "needle" scale I was 163.5 (about...) and according to this one I am 164. Not that different by any account. Plus, weight could shift from one day to another and 1/2 a pound is nothing to be concerned about.

Onward and downward!

What do you do when your refrigerator's running?

Well, I'm not a refrigerator, but I'm definitely running! Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of this week, I ran for 25 minutes straight, for 2 miles and some change. Not sure exactly how far, but hey, I still ran for 25 minutes!

I think back to the first day of this C25k program. It was running for a minute, walking for a minute, etc. I felt like I was dying during that week. I would come back to my room and it would take me 20 minutes to recover. Now, I come back, lay down on the floor to stretch, breathe a little bit, hop right back up and continue on with my day. Yes, it is hard while running and its definitely not effortless, but I can do it!

I really can't believe how far I've come in only 4 months. I've lost 21% of my original body weight. My goal puts me at 30%. That is 1/3 of me gone. Its truly mind boggling!!

YES!!!!!!!

Today's weigh in: 163.5!!!!!

FORTY FOUR AND A HALF LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm so ecstatic right now. Only 18.5 to go until my goal!!!! That seems like nothing next to FORTY FOUR AND A HALF LOST!!!!!

I am officially at my lowest weight since "childhood" and actually weighing myself and caring about what the number is.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel : )

Still Going Strong!!

It is April 28th. I have been on this journey now for almost 4 total months. And I've lost 42 lbs : )
It feels amazing.

Some new realizations:

When ever I am carrying something heavy up the stairs, I remember that I used to have to lug that around all time time..it was just attached to me!

Walking around yesterday, I realized that my lower and middle thighs don't rub together anymore. (Upper is still work in progress, but hey, I'll take it!)

I ate a whole pint of ice cream and a lot of chinese food on Friday night, and then had a deep fried oreo on Saturday, and still lost a whole pound from the week before. And then once the sodium effects were gone, it was 2 lbs from the week before.

Also, this is one of the biggest shocks I've had. I found this picture. Not bad

New Picture : )

this is a full shot of me...didn't crop it to my head...and I love it!!!!! (167lbs....down 41)

I DID IT!

Today's forecast was just LOVELY and the mornings have been so beautiful, that I set my alarm for 6:30 AM and went out running at 6:45.

I went across the street to the high school track. It was early and no one was there, so I felt fine going on the track. I wanted to have a clear picture of how far I was going.

When I started running, I got this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was being psyched out by the track. The few times I've been running on the track, it was high school gym class and I couldn't make it around even once. I'd be gasping for air. I was very worried.

Then I ran around once....twice......three....and then I made it to one mile. A whole mile, without stopping once!

This segment of the Couch to 5K was 20 minutes. So I kept running. I made it all the way to 7 full laps around the track. 1 3/4 miles!!

YAY!

Had a moment today....

I'm downstairs among the practice rooms. I am doing laundry and practicing. Realize the washer is done. Walk back to the laundry room. Stop. I see the midsection of someone coming, so I pause to let them by. No one comes. Curious I step forward again.

I saw my own reflection in a glass door and didn't recognize myself.

That's just weird.

Yippee Skippy

So I think that my stalling weight loss wise was do to a little water retention because today....voila....170! 38 pounds GONE. I've lost a whole little person : )

Also, this was today's C25K segment.

3 minutes run
90 sec walk
5 minutes run
2 min 30 secs walk
3 minutes run
90 sec walk
5 minutes run

And I did it all!!!!

Trying new stuff....

I've gone a couple of weeks without much progress on the scale. So I'm going to throw two new things into the hopper. I'm going to up my calories to 1400 and add pilates workouts again on Tuesdays and Thursdsays. We'll see what happens! Now that I'm getting more and more used to the running, I think I have to up the ante a bit.

I've still lost 35.5 lbs, not too shabby!

A Week of Ups and Downs

Wow. This week was just a mess of emotions, feelings, and yadda yadda.

First of all, let me explain this. About 2.5 weeks ago I went through all of the symptoms of that wonderful time of the month, but there was no arrival of said gift. (suffering but for no reason..that just sucks.)

Then, in a rush of complete chaos it seemed, Tuesday it all started again. Very much so. Worse then before. Hurt, bloated, hurt, icky, more hurt and yesterday it arrived. I felt really huge and was discouraged by the number on the scale.

Then today, the number was still abnormal (could have also been that pizza on Friday) but I felt great!

Also, I took a chance and went to browse this new store that opened up in town. Tried on a dress that I liked. Size 14. TOO BIG. Tried on a dress with the label of "large". Not extra large, or XXL, just "L". Fits WONERFULLY!! I am so excited about it.

When I was trying it on, I looked in the mirror and I expected to be dissapointed. I turned to the side and expected to see my bumps on my stomach from the side. NOPE! I saw a FLAT profile.

Wait.

WHAT?

A FLAT profile. This is truly amazing and I was so excited today!!!!!

(and that pizza on Friday was delicious!)

The picture speaks for itself!

Click on the image to view larger and read text!

Past Halfway Mark!!!

Starting Weight: 208

Goal Weight: 145 (61lbs)

CURRENT WEIGHT: 175!!!!! 33lb lost!!!!!

Yahoooooooo!!! While I was home, the scale was biased. This morning, I didn't think it would be biased...and I was right : )

Accomplishment!

To fully understand, you have to know what I was going through today.

It was the first day back after spring-break. Last week, I was home with my family, loving every minute. I was also very busy during the week. I didn't really get that day to just laze around. I always was doing something. (Except for the great day with my mommy, that was a blast!!)

This morning I was very very tired. I was not really into going to any classes. I just wanted to laze around in bed and sleep, that sounded so wonderful.

I had class at 8:00am. Then I took a nap from about 9:10-9:25...then my friend came over to see a project. Then I slept again from 9:50-10:45. Then I had to go to work, rehearsal, class.

Today is Monday, a running day. I was NOT feeling up to it. I was just too tired.

But I went anyway. I thought, if I can at least get through half of it, its better than nothing. Today began Week 3 of Couch to 5k. It includes a stretch of 3 minutes straight of running. I was not looking forward to this. Before I started, I didn't know if I could actually do it.

Before I knew it, I was at the warm down at the end. I had run straight through the 3 minute segment without realizing it was that long!!!!!!!

Moral of the story: Even if you are feeling tired, run because it makes you feel great after!

Weekend

Well, this weekend was pretty good. On Friday night we went to a local restaurant after Stations of the Cross at church. I could have easily just ordered a salad for dinner, but I decided that if I was going to change how I live my life, I had to learn how to have more food for a dinner. I was really struggling for a bit "how can i purposefully go over my calorie count..isn't that going against everything i'm doing?" But I had to almost force myself to order something with a higher count. So I had chicken marsala, noodles, and a small salad. I did stay away from the bread though!!

And then on Saturday I made my homemade pizza. I make it every once in a while, lots of cheese and toppings and its always yummy. Over the course of the evening, I had about 5 pieces. And that was fine : )

This morning I was a little worried. Sundays are the day of my weekly weigh in...did I do damage to myself? Nope!! I came in at 178. Technically, I gained .2 since last Sunday however its that lovely (crappy) time of the month so thats probably a little biased this week : )

A Mish Mosh of Updates

Weight success: current weight is 177.8....not shabby! I've lost 30.2 lbs so far. Almost half way there to my goal!!!!

Nutrition: While I'm home, its already been a bit different with food. I'm not exactly sure why. Its like, when I'm at school, whatever I buy, I can eat. In the dining hall most of its gross anyway, so I don't really mind. But I don't go for the junky stuff. Now that I'm at home, its just a matter of staying away from the ice cream, the pile of crackers, high sodium this, and that. But I think I'm doing a great job so far!

Exercise: Still strong with my C25K program! I even went running about an hour and a half before my dad came and got me on Friday. And I must say, its doing WONDERS for me. I never thought I'd be one that would enjoy running!

Clothes: Came home to a closet of clothes that I had left home because they don't fit. Well...now that's a totally different story. AND I fit into one of my size THIRTEEN jeans!! Sure, I have 3 pairs and only fit into one of them, but so what. If you didn't catch that, they are size THIRTEEN. I'm hoping by the middle of next month to be fitting into all of my 13s and hoping for the day when I can go to Kohls and get 11s. Wow. That felt weird to write : )

Home!!

I am HOME!! 9 days of family : ) I'm very happy!

One of the first things my mom says when she hugs me "There is less of you!"

"Really?"

"Yup!"

I'm also very excited because I have a bunch of clothes still here in my closet that I can try on....do they fit now? Yay!

Great Moment!!

I live on the 3rd floor of a dorm. Today was laundry day. Laundry is in the basement...and it was a FULL load today. As I'm dragging it back up to my room, I'm thinking, this is crazy heavy. (Usually I have smaller loads...but I kind of forgot to do laundry earlier this week...shhhh!)

I decided to weigh the basket of laundry. I thought it was going to be about 60 lbs (totally guessing...it was REALLY heavy). 60lbs is how much my goal is.

By the time I got to the top of all the stairs, I was red in the face and a little winded.

Got to my room. Put it on the scale.

THIRTY POUNDS. All of that heavy, heavy, bulky laundry that was making me gasp for air weighed only 30 lbs. Here is the kicker:

As of this morning, I've lost EXACTLY 30 lbs!!!

Talk about your eye opening experiences!

Oh, Happy Day!

For the first time this week, I woke up to sunshine and birds! It was so wonderful. I allowed myself to sleep in this morning and because of that it was bright outside when I woke up. Very cheery.

Also, I've lost another pound, so I'm officially at 30 lbs lost!! The Couch 2 5k program is really working well. I'm losing inches it seems faster than lbs, which I'm totally okay with!

Another happy event. Well, almost kind of weird. This morning I reached up to scratch my neck, and I felt bone....never really felt my own collarbone before : ) My collarbone and shoulders are getting more defined so I'm excited. It was so foreign to me though, almost comical!

My day SHOULD be fairly easy. In 20 minutes I go to meet with my grad assistant for theory, then go to genetics, then filming with Sara for our project, doing some studying for my theory test, go take my theory test, have a piano lesson, and go to franks lesson. Not a bad day by any standards.

And then the big event....tomorrow I go home!!!! Yippee!

Yup, it's Monday alright!

A downside of daylight savings (aside from losing that wonderful hour of sleep) is the darkness that greets you in the morning. I had gotten so used to the lovely sunshine that lifted me right out of bed that I wasn't prepared for the dark that greeted me this morning. Besides that, it was rainy and dreary most of the day so that didn't help either.

On the other hand, there were some good points to the day. I am working on a project for psychology with a friend and we got some headway on it this morning. I also went for my run. I ran at a different time today because 1) I was working on the project this morning and 2) I pretty much had 2 hours extra time today because some classes were canceled. I did OK running today. Towards the end, it was getting increasingly difficult but I pushed through it. The drizzle of rain that was coming down didn't help matters much. Also, after running I went down and practiced both theory lab and piano so that is done for today. All that is left for the evening is do 2 realizations for theory (won't take long, he practically gave us the answers in class!), read a chapter, go see a friend and do (you guessed it) theory, and then go see my teacher.

And I have to say this about yesterday. After church I went to CVS for some stuff. I saw a pack of Swedish Fish sitting there. I wanted to try something sweet again to see how I'd react to it. Plus, it is "fat free". I don't ever want to do that again. The Swedish Fish were 200cals. I have no problem with that, in fact, I had plenty of room for the day. But it was 200 EMPTY calories. I needed to eat more just to not feel tired. It was like I had thrown out some energy. I think I'll stick with my sugar free chocolate pudding from now on!

Feels like Spring!!

Finally! The world is starting to warm up (not as in global warming...that's another can of worms!). Nope, I mean in the totally normal way that spring is coming!

To start today, I woke at 6:45...then at 6:55 when the alarm went off again. Showered, and dressed in jogging attire. I went to my first class (8am Literature of the Old Testament) fully ready to jog afterward. And I did!

After my class I went back to my room, dropped my stuff, stretched, and off I went! Today's workout was 1.5 minute run/1 minute walk. It was totally doable, although by the end of it I was seriously wondering what I had done to myself. At the start, it was relatively easy going. Then as time went on I huffed and puffed a bit more.

However, even though I was gasping by the end, I was so proud of myself! I did it! I think I'm going to do this week over next week. I want to get to the point where I can run each week without feeling as if I'm going to die when its over. So next week, repeat. Although I have to say, its totally working!!

After the running, I cleaned up and got dressed for the day. I chose this cute pink skirt that I have (flowing and pretty, and totally like spring) and a long-sleeved white shirt. Then I looked in the mirror....I nearly passed out. I was so excited!! I absolutely LOVED how it looked. Believe me, this skirt was not one that I could where a nearly form fitting shirt with...BEFORE. Now it is just perfect. YAY ME!

Almost there!

Well, almost into the 170's that is. And for me, that is a big deal. I was down to 165 before and then I got off the wagon and crawled straight back up. I keep thinking that after the 170's come the 160's but then the 150's must come after them! I'm going to keep going!!

Oh yeah, and this morning I came in at 180.5!!! INCREDIBLE!

Posts From My Past...on Calorie Count.com

My Butt Hurts!!!
Mar 03 2009 10:09

I have this Windsor Pilates tape entitled "Buns and Thighs"...boy does it work them! I've done the tapes for about 2 months now (and seen great results by the way) but up until now, I have recovered relatively quickly after.

I did this tape yesterday afternoon...and my butt is still sore! I think it is because I've gone from burning off fat "back there" to toning muscle and tightening it. The running that I have been doing must be working pretty well because I've noticed a considerable "loss of mass" back there.

It's such a great (and slightly painful!) feeling. Sitting anywhere today reminded me!!

Weekend Fun
Mar 01 2009 10:18

On Friday night I had a bunch of girls over for a little get together. We ordered massive amounts of chinese food, played games, and watched movies. Very fun. Mostly I had the chicken and broccoli. The chicken had no sauce on it, it was basic breast meat. After that, I did partake in a bunch of rice, sweet and sour sauce, fried rice, a dumpling, and wonton soup. Whoa Momma! So I went over my calorie count by about 800 that day. And didn't gain anything! So that was my first "cheat" since the beginning of January. And that will be my last for quite some time. It was good, but after the fact, I'm thinking, I didn't need it. Sure, it was wildly delicious, but it wasn't necessary. And even though I knew that only 1 cheat day within 2 months of dieting was awesome, I still felt a little like I let myself down. So now its back to normal, and normal is OK! In fact, I feel better all around when I eat better.

The Tale of the Evil Cookie
Feb 24 2009 9:48

Once upon a time, Lauren went to bible study. It was Tuesday night and Lauren was very tired. Tuesday's are her busiest day and she was exhausted. When she went to bible study, she saw that Lisa had brought rich fudge cookies.

Being that it was her busiest day and she hadn't had anything sweet for such a long time, she decided to treat herself. About 1/2 an hour after eating the delicous cookie, Lauren began to feel ill. The cookie wasn't sitting right in her stomache.

By the time she got up to her room, she felt as if she would get physically sick. This made Lauren wonder. Why did she have to have the cookie? Was it necessary? 20 minutes later, her tummy was still feeling icky.

Understandably, she wasn't happy. Then Lauren realized. She had gotten so used to eating good, wholesome, non-sugary refined food, that her body wasn't used to the fudgey chocolatey cookie. While she was still feeling sick, Lauren was a little bit proud of herself.

She had succeded in literally changing the way her body reacted toward food. Now all she has to do is avoid the sugary junk and she'll feel wonderful all of the time.

The End

Couch to 5k: Day 1
Feb 23 2009 7:36

Well, today I began my new fitness goal. Up until now, I've kept my goals pretty well limited to food intake. After a month and a half of success, I've decided to add to it. I began the Couch to 5k program.

I downloaded a podcast called "Podrunner Intervals" and it times how long you walk/jog to music. Which is great for me because 1. Music motivates me to keep going. When there is a beat going, I must keep with it! and 2. I don't have to worry about timing anything. When the music is over, my workout is over. Very convinient.

Reactions after the first day: Well, it was "simple". Jog 60 seconds, walk for 90. Sounds easy? But doing it for 1/2 an hour straight...I was a bit winded. Although, I have to say, it felt GOOD. And believe me, for me to say that after running is a HUGE deal. I HATE it. I'm one of those people that doesn't understand the people who join track or run a marathons for fun. But inspite of that, after I finished, I realized that I did it! I was able to complete it. And I only do it 3 times a week so I have a day of rest tomorrow. I think it would be harder to keep up with if it was a daily exercise, but the day of rest should help me recuperate. I'm still feeling it in my chest. It got all (tmi) mucousy and gross afterwards. I guess from all of the movement.

So I'm pleased with myself. Actually, the more I think about it, I've never done anything close to that before. Essentially, I ran for about 12 minutes of that workout. Granted, I had a break between every minute, but that's still a long time in my book!

Looked in the mirror and....
Feb 19 2009 09:31

no "you look gross" comments came to mind! Usually, even when something fits well, I always find SOMETHING that I don't like about myself. This morning I put on a red sweater, dark jeans, and cute black shoes, took a deep breath, looked in the mirror, and liked what I saw! The shirt didn't pull anywhere. You couldn't see fat rolls. My jeans didn't hug my thighs in the wrong places. I liked my reflection! Now, don't get me wrong--I am still on this journey to feel amazing at 145. But for the moment, I'm happy knowing that I can still look ok now as well : )

Have you been....
Feb 11 2009 09:33

losing weight??

That was the question I was waiting to hear from someone and yesterday was the day! I can't wait to continue this journey and get even smaller : )

20 LBS LOST!!!!!!
Feb 08 2009 09:35

I am sooooo happy this morning. There are many reasons!!

1. The scale read 188 this morning!!!!!

2. I've gotten onto the 2 lbs a week lost trend which I am excited about. Although I was very happy about the rapid lost in the first 3 weeks, I wasn't sure if it was totally healthy (even though I wasn't TRYING to lose that fast....it just happened).

3. It's going to be 54 degrees today! Sunny and happy!! And....

4. Because of the spring temp, I put on a skirt and shirt to go to church today that HAVEN'T FIT PROPERLY/AT ALL SINCE MY BIRTHDAY IN MAY and NOW THE SHIRT IS LOOSE!!!!! The skirt could still be a bit looser, but it definitely is something that I'm totally comfortable wearing.

Happy Sunday!!

Keep Counting
Feb 05 2009 6:01

So I have this little problem. I keep under-doing my calories. On average, I'll end a day at 900..and this is bad for an 18 year old!! Logically, I know that its a stupid thing to do. This is why I failed so miserably the last time. I wasn't eating enough and then when I went back to "eating normally" I went way over the other side. I have to accept the fact that this will probably take at least a year to accomplish. A slight loss a week is acceptable. I can do this healthily and still eating good amounts of food---but all good food!

So today, I was consciously trying to eat healthy AND enough.

Breakfast: Raisin and Spice Oatmeal, Grapes w/ a bit of vanilla yogurt

Lunch: 2 slices 35 cal wheat bread, 1 slice provolone cheese, bit of onion and pickle, and a piece of Italian marinated chicken---all melted together in a griller.

Dinner: 1 piece Chicken Marsala and salad (baby spinich, onion, boiled egg, Balsamic vingaigrette dressing)

I made it to 1076 cals for the day. Good for me : )

Discovering new feelings...
Feb 04 2009 07:24

such as the feeling of a smooth walk...without my thighs literally grinding eachother apart.

such as the feeling of putting on a pair of size 15 jeans and being able to walk around comfortably in them.

such as the feeling of realizing your pair of 17 jeans no longer fit. Darn : )

such as the feeling that you feel healthier.

such as the feeling that you feel happier.

such as the feeling that you know you are changing your life forever and will NEVER have to look back.

its great to have new feelings!

I know I can!
Jan 31 2009 5:32

So this morning, the scale read 190!!! That is so great!!!! Especially, since I'm at school again! I was so worried that once I got back, I wouldn't be able to keep up with the lifestyle, but not to worry, this girl has it locked!

WOO HOO!!! 18lbs down!

Ate a cookie....gasp!
Jan 28 2009 09:41

At bible study, our leader usually brings something from home for us (since we are not at home) and she brought chocolate cookies. Knowing that my count for the day was only at 900 so far, I had one and only one. And refrained from a second. So I had a cookie in my new life style, and feel ok about it. Let's just not do that every day!

First Day Back
Jan 27 2009 07:16

So I am back at school. So far so good. They post calories, but not portion sizes, so I'm keeping portion sizes small. And because I'm here, I'm walking a lot more. So according to me scale, I'm at 192!!!

196.2!
Jan 23 2009 07:57

So on Tuesday, I got a Pilates Ab workout tape. Now, I know Pilates works for me, but before I only used the 20 min workout, not very specific though. The ab workout is REALLY working : )

So this morning, I weighed in at 196.2 and I think this is due to the new workout. Because so far I've lost about 4 lbs and thats crazy!

And I made my first goal! 10 lbs!!!!!!!!!!! Now I get 10$ to spend at this great place called Princeton Record Exchange. Fun!!!!

Exhibiting Control
Jan 22 2009 08:17

The one fear I've been having is "how can I continue this back at school?" It's not that I go out, go to parties, and constantly order food out..it's that I'm not always sure what is exactly in the food that they give you in the dining hall. For some dishes, they post the nutrition info, but not for everything. And even then, how do I know that it is accurate? I've gotten so used to creating my own food, knowing exactly every measurement of every ingrediant. I've gotten better at recognizing portion sizes, but how do I know if the chicken was cooked in butter or the calorie information is not correct? I guess I'll find out when I get there! I do have a plan though: got Pilates tapes and I plan to do those faithfully. Only 20 mins a day, all to myself, doing something for me. It'll definately be a trial and error experience!

Cold Cold Day
Jan 19 2009 8:28

Snow! Finally some white stuff falling from the sky!

We went sledding today. Walking up the hill definately gave me some exercise today! It was very very fun.

Tonight my dad went out and got some icecream. I am very proud of myself. I asked for "low calorie" something so he got Edy's Slow Churned. 110 cal per 1/2 cup and thats ALL I measured. That was it! And I ate it slow and enjoyed it. 23 minutes to eat 1/2 cup of ice cream. Delcious!

I did go 41 cals over today, but I had a lot of vegetables and did get moving a bunch with the sledding. So overall, a sucessful day. Although I must say, that is the most sugar packed thing I've had in 3 weeks...wowzers!

Unsure
Jan 18 2009 8:54

Calorie wise I was good today. But I think I didn't eat the right stuff. I don't feel as good about today. I ate too much chicken and not enough vegetables. I'm a little weary about how much protein I've been eating the past two days. I've gotta cut back on the protein and get some more veggies!

Now I'm finishing off the evening with some oatmeal (with a spot of splenda and cinnamon). I'm proud of that! Oatmeal will keep me full the rest of the night AND I avoided that very tempting container of cookies and box of Cap'n Crunch (before I would have had a bowl of cereal and about 5 cookies). Now, I have oatmeal and eagerly await my weekly weigh in tomorrow : )

Card night
Jan 18 2009 12:23

Fried chicken, chili, cornbread, broccoli, m&ms, reeses mini peanut butter cups, soda cans, and chocolate chip cookies. That was the fare for the evening.

I ate: 1 cup of chili, the smallest piece (pretty tiny) of cornbread crumbled, and broccoli with water to drink. Yeah! I was offered dessert a few times, and gracefully declined..and felt great! We play cards and have fun, I didn't need to eat junk to have fun!

Also, I can fit into my size 15 jeans. They aren't a perfect fit yet, but I can wear them without feeling totally gross. And my size 17 jeans are becoming more and more baggy...to the point where I almost need a belt. So I guess I'm now a size 16 if there was such a thing--right in the middle. But my goal is still aways away. Keep it up!

Bleh...
Jan 16 2009 2:20

Stupid TOM. Ouch and yuk all around. Thats what today feels like. On ordinary days like this, it would be snack happy to make myself "feel better". Instead, here was my food for today so far:

Breakfast: special k. chocolate cereal w/ 1% milk

Lunch: Italian wedding soup and oatmeal covered grilled chicken w/ a sprinkle of parmesan cheese and italian seasoning (AMAZINGLY good. Take 1/8 cup of oatmeal and ground in a ziploc baggie. Then dump about 4 ounces of chicken breast pieces. Toss to coat. Put in a pan (no oil or butter) and "fry". Mix in a tablespoon of bbq sauce for yummers!)

Snack: Made oatmeal peanut butter drops (only 67 cals each!) I had 3 to calm my sweet craving.

So far, I'm still at 731/1200 cals so that leaves plenty for dinner : )

Anyway, so at least I feel somewhat more normal now. I love ibuprofin.

On to the rest of my day!

Restaurant success!
Jan 15 2009 8:12

Today my great friend took me out to Applebees. I considered saying no thanks, "I'm trying to be very responsible with food", and look pretty boring, but I took it as a challenge. So we went off to the place of the Crispy Orange Chicken Bowl, and Mozzerella sticks, and Strawberry daqueries.

This is what I ordered: water to drink and the Italian Chicken and Portobella Sandwhich from the Weight Watchers menu. And that was it!! No dessert, no fancy drink. And I was just fine! I didn't feel "overstuffed" and not at all gross like I had over indulged! And even better, it was delicious!!! In fact, I think I liked it better than that other stuff because I wasn't coming out of there holding my stomach saying "I ate to much!"

And since I'm a nut with counting calories, I came home and looked up how many calories were actually in that "weight watcher" sandwich. Only 340!! I'm STILL 150 cal under for the day....and I still feel great!

Actually, I'm finding that by simply not stuffing my face, I'm feeling a ton lighter. I know that lb wise, that's not possible in any respect, but I feel better : ) I feel like I have more energy because I'm not laden down with food that my body doesn't need at all!

I'm a very happy person these days : )

Yea!
Jan 12 2009 09:43

Throw a party, pop the streamers...this lady came in at 202. One week down, and 6lbs off...and feeling great! I've figured out how to do this, heathily and happily. I know that it is going to take awhile, but I will be so happy when I make my goal. Let's go!

Starting Again, for the last time.
Jan 09 2009 8:05

A year an a half ago I was at 165 and very happy. Then I gained, ending at 208. I am determined to become happier and healthier. I am determined to fit into all of those wonderful clothes that I bought!!

I started on Tuesday. I have been conscious of how much I am eating and exercising. Everything has been going great. Today, I was fine, but not as good as the past few days. Tomorrow I plan on exercising more and getting more work done.

I promise this to myself. I am going to feel great.