Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Was that really me?
You'd think that you could never forget what it feels like to be overweight, slightly obese. You'd think that you could never forget the trapped feeling, like you couldn't breathe due to the sheer size of you. But you can. And apparently I have. There are times when I look in the mirror and think that nothing has changed, and yet I have. There are times when I get dressed in the morning thinking, why did I bother doing this. But it has been a blessing. It is so hard to remember what you used to be like in order to appreciate the way you are. And then you see a picture like this...and remember.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Going along and then...
inevitably I get off track.
I was doing great today. Only ate 600 up until dinner, which was fine for me. Then I began to graze. I finished off what was left of my sister's fettuccine alfredo, scraped at some chocolate sitting in the fridge, grabbed some pizza goldfish (all this while waiting for my own dinner to cook). Then I ate my dinner (chinese chicken w/ broccoli). It was a decent amount, about 380 calories. Then after dinner I had 2 slices of lemon meringue pie just because. I wasn't hungry. Just wanted it. Then after already going to bed for the night, I went back downstairs and got 7 cookies and milk.
I HAVE A PROBLEM.
I was doing magnificent last week, I even hit a new low of 152.8!! Now I'm sure with the salt of everything and the junky-ness of everything, I'm back up to 155 for the time being.
In this spirit I am initiating a new challenge for myself- the August Stimulus Plan--stimulus for weight loss. lol.
I will not have a "grazing" session again.
I will allow 1 day a week where I am allowed to go up to 1800 calories--counted extravegance.
This week is limited to 1400. Next week's 1800 calories will most likely be limited to the picnic at church on Sunday.
If, and only if, I can maintain a controlled rest of this week and next am I allowed to have MEASURED goodies while on vacation. I will NOT eat whole pastries and I will limit myself to smaller ice cream portions. I WILL NOT graze.
I am tired of grazing. During, I tell myself its fine. Afterwards I feel disgusted. NO MORE. If I begin to, or feel like grazing, I will get out of the kitchen. Period. No more. I WILL NOT.
I was doing great today. Only ate 600 up until dinner, which was fine for me. Then I began to graze. I finished off what was left of my sister's fettuccine alfredo, scraped at some chocolate sitting in the fridge, grabbed some pizza goldfish (all this while waiting for my own dinner to cook). Then I ate my dinner (chinese chicken w/ broccoli). It was a decent amount, about 380 calories. Then after dinner I had 2 slices of lemon meringue pie just because. I wasn't hungry. Just wanted it. Then after already going to bed for the night, I went back downstairs and got 7 cookies and milk.
I HAVE A PROBLEM.
I was doing magnificent last week, I even hit a new low of 152.8!! Now I'm sure with the salt of everything and the junky-ness of everything, I'm back up to 155 for the time being.
In this spirit I am initiating a new challenge for myself- the August Stimulus Plan--stimulus for weight loss. lol.
I will not have a "grazing" session again.
I will allow 1 day a week where I am allowed to go up to 1800 calories--counted extravegance.
This week is limited to 1400. Next week's 1800 calories will most likely be limited to the picnic at church on Sunday.
If, and only if, I can maintain a controlled rest of this week and next am I allowed to have MEASURED goodies while on vacation. I will NOT eat whole pastries and I will limit myself to smaller ice cream portions. I WILL NOT graze.
I am tired of grazing. During, I tell myself its fine. Afterwards I feel disgusted. NO MORE. If I begin to, or feel like grazing, I will get out of the kitchen. Period. No more. I WILL NOT.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
